You are welcome to join us for our Family Support Group meeting any Wednesday at 6:30 pm (CDT) or virtually on Thursdays at 12 pm (CDT) and text or call any of our committee members, anytime. You can find all the information about both on our family support page.
Our Hope for the Family podcast host and Family Support Group member, Laurie Evans, sat down with Judy Cogan, mother of a recovered alcoholic, and her daughter, Charlotte Cogan, to talk about the transformation Judy’s recovery made in their relationship. Throughout the FAQ’s for Family Support below are some quotes from their podcast. You can also listen to their full podcast episode by searching The Magdalen House podcast on your favorite streaming service.
Frequently Asked Questions About Family Support
- My loved one has the problem with alcohol dependency, why do I need to come?
- What will I get from participating in the Family Support Meetings?
- I already attend Al-Anon. Would it still be useful for me to attend the Family Support Meetings?
- My loved one doesn’t want to get help, so I don’t have anyone at The Magdalen House. Can I still attend?
- If my loved one is currently in The Magdalen House, do I need to come while they are there?
- How often are Family Support meetings held?
- Do I need to register in advance to attend Family Support?
My loved one has the problem with alcohol dependency, why do I need to come?
Alcoholism is a family disease that requires a family solution. Everyone is impacted. We become angry, confused, and scared without knowing it. Support and information allow us to heal and move toward a solution.
“If any parents or loved ones are listening to this, and wondering how to help their loved one, my mom- doing what she did and demonstrating her actions, the humility and discipline to ask for help and to do the work was inspiring to me and put me in a position of humility where I could no longer be like, “you don’t know what it’s like to have to work a program,” because well yeah, she does…I can’t really put words to it, but it was one of the greatest gifts my mom has ever given to me.”
-Charlotte Cogan
What will I get from participating in the Family Support Meetings?
- A break from the day-to-day struggles of living with addiction.
- An opportunity to talk with others who understand what you’ve been experiencing.
- Tools for dealing constructively with alcoholism and effectively responding to the alcoholic.
- Strategies for responding to your loved ones in ways that are caring and helpful.
- Ultimately, hope.
“…Through family support, they taught me better ways to respond to the drinking and also suggested that I get a sponsor and work the 12 Steps. And it was through working with a marvelous sponsor that was really tough on me…and instead of always looking at Charlotte, [taught me] to look at myself and to address my words and actions, my behaviors, my manipulation, my dishonesty.”
-Judy Cogan
I already attend Al-anon. Would it be useful for me to attend the Family Support meetings?
Past participants with Al-Anon experience have reported that attending Family Support gave them the opportunity to deepen their recovery programs.
“When it was clear that Charlotte was alcoholic, I wanted to keep that a secret. I didn’t know who to talk to about it and I didn’t have initially anybody to talk to because I felt then that it was definitely a reflection on me and that I had failed as a mom…I needed someone to tell me that your daughter is still there. What you see playing out is not your daughter, it is the disease. And when I could separate the disease from my daughter, I could focus not just on the drinking, not just on the alcoholism, but I could begin to focus on all the other wonderful parts of my daughter.”
-Judy Cogan
My loved one doesn’t want to get help, so I don’t have anyone at The Magdalen House. Can I still attend?
Participation in Family Support is open to anyone concerned about a loved one’s alcohol use. You do not need a connection to someone involved in any of Maggie’s programs to participate.
“It was evident that there was something different. And it took a little bit for me to trust that, but the affect [that had] on my recovery was really powerful. Because my mom started her steps and going to meetings and working with a sponsor kind of before I did it from my end, without even vocalizing it to me, or suggesting it, or prompting me or anything, I was seeing my mom’s actions.”
-Charlotte Cogan
If my loved one is currently in The Magdalen House, do I need to come while they are there?
Although Family Support is separate from the First Step program and it is not necessary to come while your loved one is here, it is required to attend if you plan to visit with your loved one on visitation day. The advantage to coming while they are here is you will have an opportunity to learn about how to support your loved one and yourself, so you are more prepared to begin the healing in your relationships.
“Initially I think any mother will have a sadness [with a relapse], but because I had worked the 12 Steps and I had support, and I understood the disease…it was crystal clear to me in that moment of that relapse, of my powerlessness over the disease…I was able to navigate what transpired afterwards focusing on faith that she was going to be ok and I was going to be ok instead of remaining stuck in fear.”
-Judy Cogan
How often are the Family Support Meetings Held?
Our meetings are held every Wednesday at 6:30 pm and Thursday at 12:00 pm at The Magdalen House. A Family Support and Maggie’s Women’s Group member will speak at our Breakfast Club event every second Sunday of the month.
Do I need to register in advance to attend Family Support?
Advance notice is not required for in-person meetings, just come as you are! If you would like to attend virtually please register here.
